T O P
ApocryphalShadow

We'll get there! We missed the class where we would have been taught that stuff (childhood,) but it's not too late!


Hopeful-alt

Same with knowing the names for a lot of stuff in female fashion


HawkwingAutumn

Yeah, I have a friend who's into fashion (like, went to school for it) and my girlfriend likes to talk about historical sewing, and between the two of them... I'm just over here like "bleep bloop I'll be here next time either of you have a question about Mega Man I guess"


siobhalexander

I know this might mean less from a trans guy than a cis girl but not all AFAB kids get taught this stuff! Even up until I questioned my gender I couldn’t tell you the difference between a skater skirt and an A-line skirt, hell I can’t even picture either of them. They’re both just a skirt in my head. I was a bridesmaid in my early teens (still in the closet, no one knowingly misgendered me) and the bride described the dresses she wanted us to wear, I understood absolutely nothing except “red,” “sleeveless,” and “floor-length.” You’ll get it eventually, if I can figure out sports…


Rocket-kun

Same. I'd love to learn more girl stuff, and reclaim my childhood however possible.


KatieDeForest

I know the feeling, I didn't get taught neither of the "classes". Was just left out in the dirt to learn everything on my own and even till this day I'm not sure how to do a lot of human things. Being an autistic Trans person who's parents aren't supportive in any way, makes life pretty difficult.


Xerlith

OP, you’re 15. You’re WAY ahead of the curve compared to most of us. Don’t waste time beating yourself up for not knowing things, because I promise you’re gonna spend the next 15 years not knowing a lot more things. And the next 15, and the next. It’s all opportunities to learn and grow, nothing to be ashamed of.


QuestioningsMyself

Now that I think of it...it's probably because my parents never taught me that for obvious reasons...SOMEONE PLEASE EDUCATE ME!! 😭😭😭


MathBlade

Hair down means let gravity do it’s thing. Hair up generally means some kind of controlled styling above the shoulder.


TransArsonist

as a transmasc who's watched my parents style my older sisters, hair up can also mean the hair is being styled into something like, mohawk (hair is up), french updo (hair is kept up by pins and other accesories), the Y/N hair bun thingy. hair down is anything that's like, let the hair do it's own, braids(hair is not up), slickback(hair is down), anything that's not fighting gravity is basically hair down


MathBlade

I agree. Hence the generally. There’s way too many styles to list each one.


dragoono

Giiiiiirl, you’re a kid! Other girls your age don’t know these things either. I was raised a woman for 20 years and I was still learning new things about “womanhood” every day, I had no idea what was going on. Maybe that’s because I wasn’t a woman, but whatever. Just give it time, pay attention, watch YouTube videos lol you’ll be fiiine


The_Bard_sRc

wait, uhhh, was I *not* supposed to know all this stuff about hair and clothing and measurements and stuff long, long before I cracked? because i know im older but *damn* do i look around at both the young baby trans and the older ones cracking around same age as me and im like damn i know waaaaay more than everyone else does when they figure this out, and i *really* probably shouldnt lol


DreadMaximus

I was always way more into learning about female anatomy and "girl" things as a kid (I'm AMAB) and I always chalked it up to "wanting to understand the female experience so I could be a better partner." But once my egg cracked I realized it was probably just the transness all along :)


The_Bard_sRc

lol, yep! and its funny too, how like you always hear of cis men like so confused about female anatomy and horrifiyingly grossed out by periods and stuff, and i was just like oh my god guys whats the big deal y'all are being babies


ZombiePowered

I remember having gal pals in high school trying to gross me out of a conversation by talking about their periods. I learned a lot; for example, some women gag if they talk about their periods for too long.


Incarnation101213

Lol that's funny. I'm a trans dude and a good friend of mine is a cis guy but I tell him about my period all the time and he doesn't mind at all. It's actually hilarious because he successfully predicted my period today when I had brushed it off thinking the pain was something else akgkkgkgh


Incarnation101213

Same but in reverse with guy stuff! Turns out I was just a guy all along.


CrustyCock96

Same! Though I was also on the verge of becoming a Nice Guy™ when I was ~15 and then 180'd into being a feminist lmao Bonus silliness: Meeting trans guys at that age I thought I could relate to them because we're "both guys" Ha, haha, hahahahha


PhotonSilencia

I don't think I know more than others about clothing and such (other than from researching a few clothes for TTRPGs). But ... but then I learned that a lot of cis men don't know the difference between a skirt and a dress and I was just flabbergasted.


The_Bard_sRc

ask them to explain what a slip is and watch them squirm! 🤣


ZombiePowered

I'm flabbergasted just hearing about it.


em_anant

I'm a bit older and cracked later than most of the people on these subs, but I had a similar experience. When my egg finally shattered, I realized that I knew *a lot* more about women's fashion, anatomy, and reproductive health than I did about men's.


The_Bard_sRc

I've got a friend who's partner came out early this year. just a few years younger than me, but is like the other ones I'm talking about knows like nothing about fashion or makeup (while I know some of that one i admittedly dont know anything about technique because I'd not ever tried it myself) or anything else. not even sure how handle long hair in any of the stages of hair growth either before I cracked myself (since I cracked 4 months after she did), or like immediately after I did, I was taking with my friend at one point, just not sure where to begin explaining any of this to her now-girl partner. she's not into anything girly herself and said in frustration "i don't know any of this shit YOU teach her how to be a girl!" lol


uboofs

I focused on the kitchen and homemaking skills. The definition of “woman” in my childhood is a lot smaller than who I ~~want to be~~ am, but it was what I had to feel better about myself without getting reprimanded. Definitely turned some heads in the conservative social circles I was trapped in. But once they tasted my cooking/baking they’d forget any judgments they had of me.


greypanenby

No count yourself lucky. PLEASE TEACH US 😩😩😩🤣🤣


unclewitch

If I could airdrop all this shit I absorbed from girl's magazines to all my trans girls out there boyyeeeeeeHOWDY it would be done. T4T love: teaching my girlfriend about layering hair products after she helps me practice blowing my nose via snot rocket.


SextroDepresso

My trans masc ex taught me that womens belts go in on the left side belt loops first, not the right side. He also noted the left handedness for other things in womens clothing. And educated me on why a woman’s tshirt better fit my form than a mens tshirt.


FeatheredFledgling

I don’t think blowing nose via snot rocket is gender exclusive tho, just be hygienic and use a tissue then wash your hands.


[deleted]

Thieves cant is only available if you multiclass


wiza_Duck

Girl that's not even girl code. Just for people with longer hair wihch are mostly girls


Vast-Mushroom8472

But you learned, no? Perceived failure is ultimately a learning experience. Once I mistakenly called a bobby pin a safety pin. It was funny trying to tell them I didn't have a safety pin in my scalp. Practice makes perfect hon, you got this!


Xylily

oh honey this isn't a girl code thing, this us just something everyone is supposed to know - don't feel dysphoric, feel dumb! (/lh) genuinely though, plenty if women i've met didn't know this and plenty of guys did, if you can divorce this from gender it'll help


moware2

I have no idea what going on. Someone please teach me


Legatharr

"putting/wearing your hair up" is a common term for tying *up* your hair, while "putting/wearing your hair down" is a common term for the opposite: not having your hair tied


FraughtTopic

Democratizing information. Love to see it 💜


QuestioningsMyself

We've seen democratizing information Now we need to see authoritarianizing information 😈


ZombiePowered

I'll share it when I decide you're ready, which will be never.


NutMeaged

But we already have American News Networks,


eggshellcracking

Uh is this supposed to be gendered information? Isn't this a super common phrase/expression? Putting your hair down also has the "chilling/relaxing/enjoying themselves" meaning


Legatharr

girls tend to care more about their hair than guys, so they tend to use the phrase more a lot more often. It's not itself gendered, though


Delrian

Smells like updog


sandiserumoto

*what's updog?*


Delrian

Not much, how about you?


Background_Culture_1

The name of the game is snaps


mr-dr-prof-stupid

Snaps is the name of the game


NutMeaged

Oh! They call it “hair up” because tied that usually causes it to stand up a bit. When your hair is untied, it flows down with gravity! Hope this helps!


LovecraftionCreation

“Delta omega zeta fortnite imposter balls” “Thanks Ava I will keep that in mind” “…What?”


MathBlade

Trans dude here. If y’all need some help translating feel free to DM me. :)


sharktank

I’ve never heard that -am afab


Mirapple

OP if it's any consolation, not knowing this doesn't mean you're a boy, but it does mean you're dumb.


QuestioningsMyself

:(


meme_used

I mean it's kinda obvious that up hair would be up, and down hair would be...let down?


guineaprince

See, any code requires being in a specific community to know said code. To them, in their school or locality or whatever hair tied and down might mean that, but is sure as hell doesn't anywhere else no more so that a piercing in one ear or a handkerchief in your back pocket means anything.


QuestioningsMyself

I suppose you're right, English isn't my first language after all...but I still feel a little shit for not getting it as someone who always hangs out with English people.


MarissaAnkari

I don't want that comment to lead you astray, so I want to let you know that hair up/hair down *is* common across american/british/australian/etc english, not limited to a "school or locality". There are [multiple](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/let_one%27s_hair_down) [common](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/updo) [phrases](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/half-up_half-down) that use it, and if you talk about hair styles it's going to be used.


guineaprince

You don't gotta feel too bad. There'll be all sorts of codes and social norms, but they'll vary so much in time or place. Just going across town or the next town over might change the meaning. The important thing is to build confidence in your Self. Codes will come and go and you'll pick up on plenty, but when you're finally able to be most comfortable in your own self then you'll the confidence that exceeds strength of code use.


GrubbyTheGrub

The more experience you have around women, the more you learn and the easier it gets. We are all products of our environment so pick which one is best for you to grow in.


ComunistGugol06

I Wish someone would even tell me something in girl code :(


Forkcake

I’m afab and I’ve never heard of this, so don’t worry


stringsattatched

It's basically how I felt all the time at school. As if the others (girls school) were always having subtitles on that werent available to me so I only got the surface meaning of "X did this and that" but not the deeper meaning they wanted to convey by telling this seemingly mundane stuff


Forkcake

I’ve always just not really cared about shit like this enough to be bothered but not understanding it, always got the meaning after a while (you know how the internet is) guess I shouldn’t be so surprised that I found out I’m asexual


stringsattatched

I grew up without internet and a lot of that wasnt necessarily sexual. It was also about friendship, betrayal of trust, alliances, shifting friend groups, etc


Forkcake

Ahh, I see. I also went to a small Christian private school with ca 100 students. So we were always pretty good friends. I kind of just assumes everyone has it like that ig. I’m really glad I didn’t have to decipher the stuff you had to, cause I would have been pretty lost


stringsattatched

Catholic private school with 900 and I was bullied hardcore. Adhd, being weird because of not even knowing trans guys existed, and other factors might have played a role. For example not understanding a lot of this stuff and therefore being unable to abide the "rules"


Forkcake

Ahh, damn sucks. Really glad my school was more on the Pentecostal side of Christianity, so they weren’t really strict as long as you didn’t swear. I also think like half my class had ADHD and/or was atheist, but it really sucks that people in your school weren’t open minded even when it came to disorders.


stringsattatched

We could swear as long as it wasnt too bad or at teachers. We even played a cars game literally called "arsehole". I was brought up Protestant and the school allowed a percentage. Unfortunately, 2 years in the management changed because rhe nuns, who were quite relaxed, were all retiring because of age and the local archishopric was and is very very very conservative. I'd likely have had to leave the school if I hadnt done the confirmation (a religious thing when you get to age of religious maturity and you basically declare you want to be a full member of the church), which I only did because you get shitloads of presents and money from your family 😅 I'm atheist but opportunistic


Forkcake

In norway(which is where i live) basically everyone has a confirmation, no matter if your atheist or not. You have the choice of either doing it in the church(which is most common since you get the most money from that) or doing it civilly. I got like 25 000 Norwegian kroners (about 2 500 dollars), but even that’s a small amount based on what other people usually get(could be up to 50 000kr($5 000) or more(istg people have rich parents and relatives)).


stringsattatched

My mom promised new furniture for my room and didnt say there was a cap on how much it could cost. I hit her with the Ikea catalogue 😁 And I got enough money to buy a lot of nice stuff. Here it's not so normal anymore as in everyone does it. But the school after the change demanded religious commitment. We also dont have a civil option. That's what they basically did in Eastern Germany with the Jugendweihe


Forkcake

Your basically the odd one out if you don’t get a conformation


StrangerThingsSteveH

My transfem sisters and siblings, from a transmasc, please ask me any girl code question that you may think of


jaman4dbz

I get happy, but overwhelmed when ppl use casual gendered terms of me like "hey girl" then i feel dysphoria for not going along casually w it x.x Ive been socially out for 3 years now too... But most of my socializing has been w queer folks who are v safe with gendering ppl. Ie. They/them and not infantalizing things and just i dunno... Sorta being too formal. I get it... I live in a conservative hell hole for marginalized ppl, so theyre scared.


SongTwin27

Im afab and have never heard those terms before


alysurr

I’m AFAB and never learned how to do my hair or many of the names for things involving doing hair, and I got by until I realized I was trans and cut it all off at 26. You’ve got this, it’s not essential knowledge!


KaiHasArrived2007

Shit I'm ftm and I didn't know that lol


Anonymous_Qwertz

well now you know :>


[deleted]

Me who understands all codes (cries)


b0ysp1ral

oh man the same thing happens to me but with bro culture


Clairifyed

I guess you can derive down hair from terms like “let your hair hang down” but yeah, “up hair” how are you supposed to parse that in a vacuum the first time.


Sourpatchqueers8

I don't think any of the cis girls I've been around even know this


Cowombre

I was raised as a female (AFAB) and I didn't know that either, if it makes u feel better xD


Massive-Maize-7450

🤳


Moonmist678

Im afab and never knew that….


EdisonsCat

How does the meme go? Weie that down. Write that down?